I know it's hard to know what to say. Everyone wants to tell you things like "relax, it will happen when it's supposed to, when you stop trying it will happen, as soon as you adopt you'll get PG". Those are the things I HATE to hear, and I've been hearing them since 2004. But I remind myself that people are only trying to be helpful and encouraging.
It's SO hard. I can't really explain to you the depth of the pain of infertility. There are not words to describe it. You feel like a failure doing the ONE thing that our bodies, as women, were meant to do.
But onward we move...I'm not dwelling on the past. I go in today for a pregnancy test (they can't give you the meds until you have a negative test-nothing like rubbing it in, eh?). Sunday I go for an ultrasound (fun, dildocam during my period...can't wait), and start a prescription for Femara again. We'll do Femara/IUI cycles in July (23-24 should be the next insemination date) and August. September, October and November will be injectables (FSH shots) and IUI, and then in December we prep for IVF in January. I REALLY don't want to spend $15K to have a baby, but we'll do it if we have to.
For those of you following the calendar, here we go...
July 11 - pregnancy blood test
July 13 - baseline ultrasound (checking for cysts)
July 13-17 - Femara meds
July 16 - acupuncture
July 23 - acupuncture, ultrasound and trigger shot
July 24 - IUI
July 30 - acupuncture
August 6 - acupuncture
August 7 - pregnancy blood test
Ironically enough, my due date would be approximately April 17. Same week as my BIL's Kerry and Brent, my friend Tina's new baby girl Natalia, my nephew James, and Laurie's birth/death date. Crazy!
4 years ago
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