7/13/08 - What's that...a cyst, you say? IUI cancelled, again.

Well heck. Cancel all of that. I'm on a forced break cycle. My 47mm follie turned in to a 36mm cyst in my ovary. So I'm on a break cycle this month, and if it is still there on CD3 next month, then I'll have a second break cycle on BCP's. This means no meds, no IUI's, but we can try on our own (like that has done a lot of good over the past 4 fucking years).

We just went for Mexican food and I drowned my sorrows in two top shelf margaritas and then cried big crocodile tears all the way home. Why does it have to be this freaking heartbreaking. I can't take it, honestly. I may be done sooner than later with this dream. I feel THAT bad today.

I'm not planning on temping, charting or using opk's this month, and I probably won't be checking the fertility board because it seems like everyone but me is getting preggers these days. Well, not just these days...for years now.

I feel like I need to find a little whole, crawl in it, and rock myself to sleep for a while. I'm just devastated.