6 years ago
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We married in August of 2003 and set off on our journey to have a family in January of 2004. We had no idea how long, painful and expensive this journey would be, but we will not give up until we have a baby (or two) in our arms.
Appointments and Dates to Remember
Beta#1 10/3/09 (13dpo) 196
Beta#2 10/5/09 (15dpo) 554
Beta#3 10/8/09 (18dpo) 2783
First RE Ultrasound 10/18/09 (6w)
Second RE Ultrasound 10/27/09 (7w2d)
OB Appointment 11/2/09 (8w1d)
Reassurance Scan w/ RE 11/9/09 (9w1d)
OB Appointment 11/18/09 (10w3d)
NT Scan 12/1/09 (12w2d)
OB Appointment 12/3/09 (12w4d)
OB Appointment 12/28/09 (16w1d)
Elective Gender Scan 12/30/09 (16w3d)
ER San Ramon Regional 1/10/10 (18w)
ER Tracy Sutter 1/11/10 (18w1d)
OB ER Follow-up 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Officially on Bedrest 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Anatomy Scan 1/20/10 (19w3d)
OB Appointment 1/22/10 (19w5d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 1/31/10 (21w)
OB Appointment 2/4/10 (21w4d)
Peri/OB Appointments 2/17/10 (23w3d)
No more bedrest! 2/18/10 (23w4d)
OB Appointment 3/3/10 (25w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 3/12/10 (26w6d)
Peri/OB Appointments 3/17/10 (27w3d)
OB Appointment 3/31/10 (29w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 4/9/10 (30w5d)
Peri/OB Appointments 4/14/10 (31w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/21/10 (32w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/28/10 (33w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 5/5/10 (34w3d)
Peri/OB Appointment 5/12/10 (35w3d)
Beta#2 10/5/09 (15dpo) 554
Beta#3 10/8/09 (18dpo) 2783
First RE Ultrasound 10/18/09 (6w)
Second RE Ultrasound 10/27/09 (7w2d)
OB Appointment 11/2/09 (8w1d)
Reassurance Scan w/ RE 11/9/09 (9w1d)
OB Appointment 11/18/09 (10w3d)
NT Scan 12/1/09 (12w2d)
OB Appointment 12/3/09 (12w4d)
OB Appointment 12/28/09 (16w1d)
Elective Gender Scan 12/30/09 (16w3d)
ER San Ramon Regional 1/10/10 (18w)
ER Tracy Sutter 1/11/10 (18w1d)
OB ER Follow-up 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Officially on Bedrest 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Anatomy Scan 1/20/10 (19w3d)
OB Appointment 1/22/10 (19w5d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 1/31/10 (21w)
OB Appointment 2/4/10 (21w4d)
Peri/OB Appointments 2/17/10 (23w3d)
No more bedrest! 2/18/10 (23w4d)
OB Appointment 3/3/10 (25w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 3/12/10 (26w6d)
Peri/OB Appointments 3/17/10 (27w3d)
OB Appointment 3/31/10 (29w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 4/9/10 (30w5d)
Peri/OB Appointments 4/14/10 (31w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/21/10 (32w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/28/10 (33w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 5/5/10 (34w3d)
Peri/OB Appointment 5/12/10 (35w3d)
Rest in Peace, my Angels
11/09/2008 (9w5d) EDD 06/09/2009
06/13/2009 (4w2d) EDD 02/18/2010
08/05/2009 (7w1d) EDD 03/23/2010
10/18/2009 Baby C EDD 06/13/2010
06/13/2009 (4w2d) EDD 02/18/2010
08/05/2009 (7w1d) EDD 03/23/2010
10/18/2009 Baby C EDD 06/13/2010
Tiny Footprints on a Mother's Heart
When a baby arrives,
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you
you are unmistakeningly changed...
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother.
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you
you are unmistakeningly changed...
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother.
ART History
* May 2008: Clomid (IUI cancelled) – BFN
* June 2008: IUI#1 – BFN
* August 2008: IUI#2 – BFN
* September 2008: IUI#3 – BFP – M/C 9w5d
* December 2008: IUI #4 – BFN
* Post Partum Thyroiditis – Forced Break
* April 2009: IUI #5 – BFN
* May 2009: IVF/ICSI #1 – BFP – M/C 4w2d
* July 2009: FET#1 – BFP – M/C 7w1d
* September 2009: FET #2 - BFP!!!!
* June 2008: IUI#1 – BFN
* August 2008: IUI#2 – BFN
* September 2008: IUI#3 – BFP – M/C 9w5d
* December 2008: IUI #4 – BFN
* Post Partum Thyroiditis – Forced Break
* April 2009: IUI #5 – BFN
* May 2009: IVF/ICSI #1 – BFP – M/C 4w2d
* July 2009: FET#1 – BFP – M/C 7w1d
* September 2009: FET #2 - BFP!!!!
Our Diagnosis
*High FSH
*Chromosomally Abnormal Embyros
*Advanced Maternal Age
*Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
*Hashimotos Thyroiditis
*Low Morphology
*Chromosomally Abnormal Embyros
*Advanced Maternal Age
*Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
*Hashimotos Thyroiditis
*Low Morphology
I Will Be a Wonderful Mother
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
Blog Archive
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2009
(183)
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September
(145)
- Well, it's offiical...I'm PREGNANT!
- 5dp5dt - What is that I see?
- 4dp5dt - Well, I dunno...I see something, I think
- As Karen would say...
- 3dp5dt - I'm just not feeling it...
- 2dp5dt - Bring on the symptoms!
- 9/25/09 - It's TRANSFER day!!!
- 9/24/09 - What to do, what to do???
- 9/23/09 - Ouch!
- 9/18/09 - FET #2 date set!
- 9/17/09 - FET #2 Ultrasound
- 9/8/09 - FET #2 Schedule
- 9/7/09 - AF with a vengeance
- 8/20/09 - D&C Follow-up Appt
- 8/11/09 - A precious gift
- 8/8/09 - Recovering
- 8/8/09 - Feeling horrible
- 8/4/09 - Feeling so alone
- 8/3/09 - 6w6d - D&C Scheduled
- 7/31/09 - 6w3d - Threatened Miscarriage
- 7/30/09 - Bleeding Scare
- 7/29/09 - 6w1d Ultrasound
- 7/27/09 - 5w6d - I'm a little bit angry
- 7/26/09 - 5w5d - Measuring behind :(
- 7/25/09 - 5w4d - Spotting and Cramping
- 7/23/09 - 5w2d - Let's talk PIO
- 7/20/09 - 4w6d - Beta #4
- 7/18/09 - 4w4d weeks
- 7/17/09 - 4w3d - Starting PIO
- 7/16/09 - 4w2d - Beta #2 is in!
- 7/15/09 - Betas & Ultrasounds!
- 7/15/09 - 9dp6dt - 4w1d - Me...OCD...never!
- 7/14/09 - 8dp6dt - 4 weeks - Beta Day!
- 7/13/09 - 7dp6dt - Spotting and Cramping
- 7/12/09 - 6dp6dt - Evening update
- 7/12/09 - 6dp6dt - A little worried
- 7/11/09 - 5dp6dt - Oh.My.GOD!!!
- 7/10/09 - 4dp6dt - Cramps and Sore Boobs...WOOT!
- 7/8/09 - Loss Testing Back
- 7/6/09 - FET #1 - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise
- 7/4/09 - Lovenox added to the mix
- 6/26/09 - FET Schedule
- 6/15/09 - Okay, so on we go. FET #1
- 6/13/09 - Recurrent Loss Testing
- 6/13/09 - 4w2d - early miscarriage
- 6/11/09 - 9dp5dt
- 6/8/09 thru 6/10 - BFP!!!! And my angel's due dat...
- 6/8/09 - 6dp5dt - Afternoon
- 7/8/09 - 6dp5dt - BFN Still
- 6/7/09 - 5dp5dt
- 6/6/09 - 4dp5dt
- 6/5/09 - 3dp5dt - The horrible 2WW
- 6/3/09 - Six Snowbabies!
- 6/2/09 - 5 Day Transfer today!!!
- 5/31/09 - Embie update
- 5/29/09 - Fertilization Report
- 5/28/09 - EGG RETRIEVAL!!!
- 5/26/09 - ER is scheduled!
- 5/25/09 - Diminished reserve? I don't know about ...
- 5/25/09 - Canonballs!
- 5/24/09 - Bloated...you think?
- 5/23/09 - My aching ovaries
- 5/22/09 - IVF #1 Second Ultrasound
- 5/19/09 - IVF #1 First Ultrasound
- 5/18/09 - Ugh...the needles
- 5/11/09 - Wow...IVF...Really?
- 5/6/09 - Thinking about my angel
- 5/1/09 - Saline Sono & Inject Class
- 4/26/09 - FSH/E2 Results
- 4/25/09 - Thyroid Update
- 4/23/09 - IVF Schedule
- 4/22/09 - IVF, here we come!
- 4/22/09 - Another BFN - IUI #5 was a bust
- 4/21/09 - Negative, so far
- 9/21/09 - IUI #5 - The 2WW
- 4/15/09 - Having doubts
- 4/8/09 - The truth about my E2
- 4/7/09 - IUI #5 - Third Ultrasound
- 4/6/09 - Multiples, you say?
- 4/6/09 - IUI #5 - Second Ultrasound
- 4/5/09 - IUI #5 - First Ultrasound
- 4/2/09 - The Joy of Needles
- 4/1/09 - My best FSH for a while!
- 3/31/09 - How it is!
- 3/31/09 - Giving Hope Application Approved
- 3/30/09 - IUI #5 begins
- 3/29/09 - What trying to have a baby looks like th...
- 3/25/09 - IUI #5 - Here we go again!
- 3/4/09 - Darn that FSH level
- 3/3/09 - Giving Hope!
- 3/1/09 - Infertility Ramble
- 2/18/09 - We've made a decision
- 2/15/09 - Thyroid Update
- 1/26/00 - Diagnosed with Thyroiditis...we're takin...
- 1/7/09 - The plan forward
- 1/4/09 - BFN - IUI #4 has officially failed
- 10/29/08 - 2WW Ramble
- 10/26/08 - 2WW Ramble
- 10/23/08 - IUI #4 is done
- 12/22/08 - 2WW ramble
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September
(145)
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