Saturday morning (top), Saturday evening (middle), Sunday morning (bottom)
Nonetheless...Still positive...Still pregnant...Still grateful.
Could be a vanishing twin...both tried to implant, lost one. Would cause a pause in the HCG level.
Could be that Saturday's HCG was around 10 (which would cause a very light test), today is around 20 (still would be light), tomorrow will be around 40, nice and dark, and then Tuesday's beta will be 80-100? That's the best case scenario for us right now.
So yes, I'm still pregnant...I'm trying to be happy and hopeful and find the good in this situation. It's not like last time...I was at 13dpo and 14dpo with tests lighter than these. I'm better off than I was then for being at 12dpo today.
I'm surrounded by people who get pregnant naturally. Without effort. Multiple times. I'm surrounded by people who get a faint line, but the next day it is darker, and darker, and darker. I'm surrounded by people who get an HCG of 100+ at 14dpo. I'm surrounded by people who get nothing but good news. I want to be that person for a change.
My life is SO not that. I went 4.5 years without EVER seeing a positive test. Then after months of medicine and invasive sonograms and everyone in the clinic between my legs, not to mention vials and vials of blood, I finally got a positive. I carried that baby for 8 weeks when I found out that s/he had died. Then it got crazier...I gave myself shots, and had huge amounts of hormones pumped into me, and had my eggs surgically removed and harvested. And I lost that baby too...after a week of faint tests that never changed in shade.
So here I am again. Out of money. Four eggs left. In the same place with my faint tests. Hoping that my baby is okay and checking on him/her twice a day to see if s/he is growing. I'm not stressed about it...I'm actually fairly calm. But I am worried...justifiably.
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