5/21/08 - My FSH results come in

As if I could handle anymore...everything is not okay, unfortunately.

Your body produces a hormone called Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) each month. This hormone causes your follicles to mature and produce an egg. As your egg supply diminishes, your FSH hormone has to work harder and harder because their aren't as many eggs. As you run out of eggs and go into menopause, your FSH stays elevated forever, it never stops searching for an egg. That's why menopause whacks you out. Anyway, when I was tested in February, I was 6.8 and the "normal" child bearing range is 2.5 through 10.2. When I tested last week, I was at 10, so my FSH is very quickly ramping up, which tells the fertility specialist that they need to get a move on. I went in for another blood test today to see where it's at now.

The good news, 10 is still normal, so there are still eggs to be had. And the better news is that my daddy - bless his heart - called me the other day and said that the cost of our IVF would be covered even if he had to borrow some from my grandpa. So the financial burden of that is lifted. With the morphology, we're looking at doing IVF with ICSI, where they actually insert the sperm into the egg with a needle rather than letting them do their thing in a petrie dish.

I haven't lost hope, and we're still doing our IUI this weekend. It's just another blow to my already quite fragile state. I'm really worried about everything. It's just unreal that this is happening. I didn't think there was really anything wrong. I thought we just had bad timing or whatever. But God, it's SO coming out wrong. Why the hell did I wait so long to get help? I think we should just hop right to IVF at this point. I just want a baby. Just one baby.