We married in August of 2003 and set off on our journey to have a family in January of 2004. We had no idea how long, painful and expensive this journey would be, but we will not give up until we have a baby (or two) in our arms.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Does this Bump Make my Boobs Look Small?
That is my view looking South. Craziness!
We made it to 36 weeks! Woohoo! I can't EVEN believe I'm TWELVE days away from being a mommy! Life is GOOD!
Beta#1 10/3/09 (13dpo) 196
Beta#2 10/5/09 (15dpo) 554
Beta#3 10/8/09 (18dpo) 2783
First RE Ultrasound 10/18/09 (6w)
Second RE Ultrasound 10/27/09 (7w2d)
OB Appointment 11/2/09 (8w1d)
Reassurance Scan w/ RE 11/9/09 (9w1d)
OB Appointment 11/18/09 (10w3d)
NT Scan 12/1/09 (12w2d)
OB Appointment 12/3/09 (12w4d)
OB Appointment 12/28/09 (16w1d)
Elective Gender Scan 12/30/09 (16w3d)
ER San Ramon Regional 1/10/10 (18w)
ER Tracy Sutter 1/11/10 (18w1d)
OB ER Follow-up 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Officially on Bedrest 1/12/10 (18w2d)
Anatomy Scan 1/20/10 (19w3d)
OB Appointment 1/22/10 (19w5d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 1/31/10 (21w)
OB Appointment 2/4/10 (21w4d)
Peri/OB Appointments 2/17/10 (23w3d)
No more bedrest! 2/18/10 (23w4d)
OB Appointment 3/3/10 (25w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 3/12/10 (26w6d)
Peri/OB Appointments 3/17/10 (27w3d)
OB Appointment 3/31/10 (29w3d)
L&D San Ramon Regional 4/9/10 (30w5d)
Peri/OB Appointments 4/14/10 (31w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/21/10 (32w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 4/28/10 (33w3d)
NST/OB Appointment 5/5/10 (34w3d)
Peri/OB Appointment 5/12/10 (35w3d)
When a baby arrives,
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you
you are unmistakeningly changed...
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother.
* May 2008: Clomid (IUI cancelled) – BFN
* June 2008: IUI#1 – BFN
* August 2008: IUI#2 – BFN
* September 2008: IUI#3 – BFP – M/C 9w5d
* December 2008: IUI #4 – BFN
* Post Partum Thyroiditis – Forced Break
* April 2009: IUI #5 – BFN
* May 2009: IVF/ICSI #1 – BFP – M/C 4w2d
* July 2009: FET#1 – BFP – M/C 7w1d
* September 2009: FET #2 - BFP!!!!
*Chromosomally Abnormal Embyros
*Advanced Maternal Age
*Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
I Will Be a Wonderful Mother
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.