Week 12: Plum

As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

20 reasons why it's GREAT to have twins!

Finding out that you're pregnant with twins is often a shock. But there are lots of reasons to be excited about bringing two babies into the world at the same time. Here are just some of them.

1. Knowing that you are only going to have to go through the birth process once to end up with two children.

2. Enjoying the fun of choosing two baby names that fit together perfectly.

3. Being able to hold one baby in each arm and feeling a huge rush of love and pride.

4. Watching your babies sleeping peacefully side by side.

5. Having to establish only one routine.

6. Getting all the sleepless nights over and done with in one go.

7. Watching them carve out their own identities as they grow.

8. Knowing that they are going to have a best friend in each other for life.

9. Enjoying the attention that twins inevitably attract.

10. Feeling confident that they can help each other on their first day of school.

11. Discovering all their amazing little differences.

12. Watching them create their own secret language and games.

13. Knowing that they will never be lonely.

14. Loving the fact that they are constant playmates and can entertain each other.

15. Feeling special because you've joined the exclusive club of twin mums – together with the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Julia Roberts.

16. Only having to buy one of every must-have toy and not having to give baby number two (by a few minutes!) hand-me-downs.

17. Only having to bake one birthday cake and throw one party a year.

18. Seeing them learning and encouraging each other to reach their milestones.

19. Watching them taking care of each other when one is upset or hurt.

20. Knowing that their shared history means they have one of life's most unbreakable bonds.

Week 11: Lime

Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

Our Little Loves!

Today was a rough day (I sound like a broken record).  I've been spotting for 3.5 weeks and this past Sunday started having some cramping.  I went to insert my suppository this morning and found bright red blood.  My heart SANK, as you can imagine.  Fortunately I had an OB appointment scheduled, so I tried to pull myself together for a couple of hours until the appointment. 

The bleeding had stopped by the time I got there and returned to my status quo spotting. Dr. V couldn't find a source of the blood, but suspects that my cervix is irritated by the suppositories. 

I had my very first abdominal ultrasound. Baby B was squirming and kicking around and Baby A was kicking back. She pushed on the sac to wake him/her up, but with no success she said that was my mello child. The babies had nice heartbeats of 151 and 161.

She validated my worries and said she expects me to be anxious given my past and the fact that I'm high risk. She told me that she can't tell me everything will be okay obviously, but that everything looked really good.
 
Here are our little bugs - they sure are growing fast!!!
 
Baby A


Baby B

Having One of "Those" Days

I'm having one of those worrisome "I don't feel pregnant anymore" days.  The cramping and spotting have really freaked me out.  And now my boobs don't hurt AT ALL this morning and I didn't gag brushing my teeth for the first time in a long time.

I keep watching people in my DD group on FF with the same symptoms (or lack of symptoms) go in for ultrasounds and come back having no heartbeat anymore.  It's scaring me to death.  I just can't let go of the past. I can't get to a point where I feel good that this is going to happen for us.  I'm very scared that we will get bad news tomorrow.  I feel like I've told too many people too early and jinxed it.  I've got two shower dates set already...bad omen?

Sigh...I wish I could just be a person who could get pregnant and just have normal worries rather than having a history of miscarriage and a $15K procedure required to get me pregnant.

Please God let my babies be alive and thriving tomorrow.

Week 10: Prune

With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. Soon, legs will too.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

One Year Ago Today

November 9, 2008 was one of the worst days of my life.  It was a Sunday.  I sat at home with my husband and miscarried our first baby.  It was such a horrendous thing to go through physically and emotionally, and I don't wish it on my worst enemy. 

It's amazing what we've been through, how far we've come, and where we are today.

I had a rough weekend.  The miscarriage anniversary was adding on to the worry that constant spotting and cramping had plagued me with.  When I woke up this morning, I called my fertility clinic (yes, the clinic that graduated me 2 weeks ago) and asked them if I could come in for a "reassurance scan".  The receptionist told me that they couldn't see me for a scan since I was past 9 weeks.  What did I do?  I cried, of course.  They found an RE for me to talk to (not my RE, but the one that did my last transfer) and she agreed to have me come in.  Luckily I was put on my own RE's schedule and went in at 10:00 AM today.

I'm so lame.  Seriously.  I was convinced I had lost the babies.  I must learn to have confidence in these two, because they are THRIVING!!!

Baby A measured 9w3d with a heartrate of 176.



Baby B measured 9w4d with a heartrate of 166. 



My lil' bugs were dancing and jumping all around.  It was THE most precious thing I've seen in my life. 

What a blessing they are.  What an absolute blessing!

Week 9: Green Olive

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like...well...a baby!

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com.

Our Miracles at 8 Weeks

Yesterday was a BIG day!  A milestone, for sure!

Rewind...

On October 29, 2008, I went to an ultrasound at 8w1d and found out that our baby's heart had stopped beating.  Devastation does not even describe how we felt.

Okay, fast forward...

On November 2, 2009, I went to an ultrasound at 8w1d and saw my two beautiful cherubs growing like crazy with little hearts beating away.  Scott was unable to get a substitute so mom (grandma) came with me.  She did good...she sobbed quietly when the OB showed her the baby's heartbeats.  She's told me several times since then what a moment this was for her.  I was grateful to have her there, and so thrilled to watch her see her future grandbabies for the first time.

Baby A measured 8w2d with a heartbeat of 163.  S/he was kind enough to give us a nice profile shot!



Baby B measured 8w2d with a heartbeat of 184...my little girl, perhaps?  We'll see how the wives tale plays out.  S/he appears to have given us a front/back view and looks like a little ink smudge.  And a lovely one at that!



My next appointment is in two weeks, and I also have my NT scan set up for about four weeks from now.  They are unable to do any of the genetic bloodwork, which scares me.  I guess we'll decide how to proceed after we see the measurements from the NT scan. 

For now I'm just going to sit back and smile.  I'm so thankful to God for this blessing and will pray for Him to continue to watch over these little ones as they grow. 

8 Week: Raspberry

Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

I Graduated! Wow!

Such a bittersweet day.  I woke up this morning feeling rather negative about things.  I know, shocking, right?  This whole symptom thing has thrown me for a loop.  I guess I just always assumed the symptoms would get worse no matter what, but they sure haven't!  They most definitely come and go. 

Work was crazy this morning.  I got stuck in another building waiting for someone that showed up 30 minutes late.  I drove back to my building and my fabulous boss met me in the parking lot with my purse, a bottle of water and a banana, handed me my keys and sent me on my way.  S and I met up at our usual spot and got on the freeway...and stopped.  Traffic was horrendous.  So here I was late, flustered and starving.  Ugh...I could have screamed.

We arrived 10 minutes late - a good recovery if I do say so myself.  As I sat in the waiting room, my legs were literally shaking from the nerves.  We got called back, and as soon as Dr. H walked in the room I started crying.  I was SO scared.  Seven weeks.  Here we were at seven weeks again.  Seven weeks was when I found out that baby #1 needed a miracle to make it.  Seven weeks is when I had a D&C for baby #3.  Seven weeks is a HUGE milestone for us.  And man...what a milestone it was! 

Baby A and Baby B both measured in at 7 weeks 1 day.  Baby A had a heartbeat of 144 and Baby B had a heartbeat of 150.  My babies actually GREW.  What a concept!  And then she said it...I don't think we need to see you again.  Say huh?  I graduated?  But...but...I was going to bake cookies?   My little chin was on the ground - happy as can be, but sad too.  I mean, I've been seeing these fabulous people pretty much bi-weekly since April of 2008.  They've watched me go through SUCH a fight to get where I am.  They've celebrated my ups and they've let me cry on their shoulders during the downs.  And now I'm done seeing them?  Bittersweet for sure.  RSC has been fabulous to me and I can't WAIT for my babies to meet the people that helped us bring them into this world.

So without further ado...here are my little bugs!  I am SO in love already!!!

What a Difference a Day Makes

When I went to sleep last night I was positive that things were not going well.  My morning sickness had been so severe the week prior, and now it was gone.  I had convinced myself that my boobs were hurting less too.  I was going to call my RE this morning and move up my ultrasound to today.

Then I got out of the shower this morning and threw up.  Sweet halleluhah!!!  Bring it on!

SO Anxious!

It's been a really long week.  I honestly wish the morning sickness had come back like it was on Sunday through Tuesday.  Sure it was beyond miserable, but it was very reassuring.  I have no reassurance right now.  There have been a few moments since Wednesday where I've felt a little nauseaus, and brushing my teeth is a chore at times, but otherwise, I just don't really have it that bad...barely at all.  I'm worried.  I'll be worried until 2pm on Tuesday when I see my little babies again. 

Week 7: Blueberry

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

Acupuncture...the Miracle for Morning Sickness

I've been doing acupuncture since May 2008 for my headaches and infertility, and it's been fabulous.  I was a little out of practice, and hadn't been since my transfer in September.  I've been suffering daily headaches, and then the morning sickness hit so hard, so I made an appointment and went yesterday.  I still have a headache today, unfortunately, but it's almost eerie - my morning sickness is gone.  Completely.  In fact, I feel so good that I'm a little panicked this morning and almost wish it was back.  My 7 week ultrasound can't get here soon enough.  I'm so scared of losing one or both of these babies.

UPDATE:  Okay, it's back.  It's not as bad, but it's definitely back.  Dare I say "yay"?  Twisted, I know.

Breakfast of Champions!

Let me start out by saying that I am VERY grateful to have morning sickness, as I've never had it before with my prior pregnancies and...well, that never turned out so well for me.  Now with that said, let's get this straight.  It is not morning.  It is ALL darn day and night!  And it's so beyond anything I could have imagined.  I almost think I'd feel better if I could actually vomit, but I'm at the nausea/dry heave stage all day.  We'll call it annoying and tiring at this point, but again, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  It's my babies telling me they are all good! 

Babies.  Wow.  Still adjusting.  Okay, back to my post...

My nurse, S, told me to eat something sour.  That same day, a gal in my due date group on FF was talking about grapefruit juice.  Well really...it doesn't get any more sour than that, right?  But I was hesitant.  Seems like the last thing you would want on the verge of vomit, right?  Well, my darling husband picked up some unsweetened, sugarfree grapefruit juice for me last night - figured we'd give it a whirl.  This morning I poured myself a glass to take my thyroid meds with.  I'll be darned...it was much more refreshing than I expected.  I chased it down with a few gingersnaps, and I can honestly say, I feel pretty good for the moment (knock on wood).  So that will be my new morning staple.  Or all day staple, as the case may be. 

In other news, the scale has been kind.  I really wasn't expecting it to be, given that I feel like a cow right now.  Bloat is an understatement.  Is it possible that these babies are giving me a bump already?  It sure looks like it!  Anyway, I kinda looked at the scale, then looked to the heavens and jumped on.  I was ELATED to see that I haven't gained a pound since my transfer on 9/25.  Woot!  Let's see how long I can hold the weight gain at bay!

God Has Blessed Us...TWICE!!!

Well, almost three times technically. 

I can not tell you how nervous I was as Dr. H went in to check things out.  Within a moment, I was in tears.  But my tears were tears of joy, not tears of sadness.  For the first time in four pregnancies, we had a healthy heartbeat at 6 weeks!!!

Baby A measured 6w2d and had a heartbeat of 110 bpm.

Baby B measured 5w6d and had a heartbeat of 107 bpm.

Baby C only had a gestational sac, and it is unlikely that a yolk sac or fetal pole will develop.  In fact, Dr. H suspects that the sac will be gone when we go back on October 27.

I think I'm still in shock.  I knew twins was a possiblity.  I knew a heartbeat today was a possiblity.  I just didn't expect it.  Two healthy babies!  What a  blessing!

Baby A is on top, Baby B is on the bottom.  It's actually the opposite in my uterus - Baby A is on the bottom and Baby B is on top.  Baby C is off to the right of Baby A, but is not in the photo because of the angle.  The angle is also the reason that the sacs appear to be different sizes, but they really only differ by a fraction of a centimeter.

It Was a Rough Night

We had great plans for last night - we were so excited for dinner with two of our favorite couples.  I had lounged around for most of the day relaxing.  I got up to shower and get ready at about 3pm.  At 4pm we were getting ready to walk out the door and I felt like something was "there".  I went to the bathroom and was devastated to find pink on the toilet paper.  The next wipe was red.  And then more red.  I sat on the toilet crying, thinking here we go again.  I pulled out my miscarriage panties and the big granny pad, and cancelled with my friends.

I called the clinic, and fortunately my RE was the one on call.  She was so calm.  She told me that there are many reasons for people to bleed in early pregnancy - that it is very common.  She said that if I am carrying twins, it's even more common.  She also said that people on Lovenox often bleed more than someone not on it.  She told me to skip the baby aspirin tonight, drink my water, stay on bedrest for the night, and she moved my ultrasound up.  It's now at 12:45 today.  I'm SO grateful that she is working today.

The bleeding turned to brown last night, and this morning is very scant.  I'm feeling relieved, but I can't lie...I'm in a total panic about my ultrasound this morning.  I know that we may or may not see a heartbeat, being at 6 weeks today.   But it will be hard to be hopeful, given my past, if we don't see a heartbeat today.

Please keep our baby(s) in your prayers.  I just CAN'T lose another one.

Week 6: Sweet Pea

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

Longest.Week.Ever!

Six weeks tomorrow.  This week of waiting has been excruitiating for me.  With past pregnancies, my betas were so questionable that I was getting them checked up to 5 times.  This time I only had 3 betas, and the 3rd one was at my request.  So I've had a LONG wait since the last check on this little one.

My ultrasound couldn't get here soon enough.  I'm scared out of my mind that we won't see a heartbeat.  My past has really ruined this time for us.  I've tried not to think about it as much as possible and have tried to enjoy the moment.  I'm just not sure what I'm going to do if we lose this pregnancy.

As far as symptoms, my boobs are REALLY sore.  I'm tempted to say more sore than in previous pregnancies, but it's hard to compare.  I get up to pee about 2-3 times a night - that has been fun!  I don't really have morning sickness yet - now and then I get a little wave of nausea but nothing consistent and nothing near the point of vomitting.  I think I've only gagged on my toothbrush once.  I've been fighting a headache for days - assuming from the step down from caffeine.  I miss real coffee already, but it's an easy sacrifice.  Oh, and I'm TIRED.  OMG I'm SO freaking tired!  About 2pm in the afternoon I seem to hit the wall, and hard.  It has made work very difficult.  I guess I'll start taking a power nap at lunchtime!

PIO has been...well, a pain in the ass.  LOL!  We started heating the oil before injecting and that seems to be helping keep the lumps down.  Thankfully my husband is a ROCK STAR with injections and has only hurt me a few times.  4 weeks down, 6 weeks to go.  That's 42 more injections. 

Please pray for a heartbeat - at least one healthy heartbeat.  Just a few more days to go...

Week 5: Appleseed

Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com

Well, this never happens!

Yesterday's beta BLEW me OUT of the water.  Do you know that my highest beta for 18dpo was 330?  And did you know that I'm now above the average for twin AND triplet+  pregnancies according to betabase.info? 

     Single pregnancy at 18dpo:  406
     Twin pregnancy at 18dpo:  803
     Triplet+ pregnancy at 18dpo:  1171
    
     My beta yesterday at 18dpo:  2783

Breathe, sigh, breathe, sigh...

I know if God gives us triplets, it's because he thinks we can handle it.  But we're hoping God blesses us with twins.  Heatlhy, beautiful twins!  We'd be just as thrilled with one healthy baby too.  We're already so blessed and so grateful.

For your viewing pleasure:

Okay, let's all faint together!

I honestly can't believe it.  I was hoping for 450 to 500.  I got 554.  Yes, that is 554 at 15dpo.  HOLY COW!!!!

My progesterone was a wee bit lower than Dr. H would like to see it given my beta.  It's at 23.5 after Prometrium 2x a day and 1cc of PIO per day, so we're increasing the PIO to 1.5cc a day.  I'm tempted to self medicate with a third Prometrium dose.  I mean, I can't get THIS far and then have progesterone take me down.  Though, if Dr. H was overly concerned, she would have increased it.  She said she just didn't want to take any chances with me.  I think she wants this baby as much as we do! 

She also said that she suspects I'm currently pregnant with multiples.  Now before we all get excited (aka freak the heck out), she reminded me of my past and asked me to please not get too attached to the concept.  She told me she didn't want me to be disappointed at my ultrasound on the 20th.  I told her the only thing that would disappoint me would be the lack of a heartbeat.  One baby, two babies, three babies...that's not for me to choose at this point, it's in God's hands.  And for those of you that want the three theme to continue, we don't, so stop it!  LOL!

About the ultrasound - I'll be 6w2d.  I tried to move up my appointment, but Dr. H is in surgery on Friday and off on Monday.  So we have to wait ALL the way until October 20th to find out what's really going on.  Mom, that means no shopping...okay?  Put the credit card DOWN and step AWAY from the internet! 

Sigh...big day.  My cup runneth over! 

Tap...tap...tap...

I hate waiting for betas!  I'll admit it, I'm a little nervous this morning.

Surely that is justified given my past.  And even if this beta is sky high (please God let it be over 450 minimum), I'll still find something else to worry about.  Infertility and miscarriage have put a dark cloud over what should be an absolutely amazing time.  Don't get me wrong -- I'm thrilled, I'm excited, I'm hopeful...but I'm scared out of my ever-loving mind!

I went by Mimi's this morning and picked up my bracelet.  I'm so thrilled to have it back in my posession.  I'm so darn lucky, too.  God bless the kind person who turned it in.  Good karma awaits you.

Tap...tap...tap...ring phone, ring!  Though I've got HOURS ahead of me still.  Sigh...breathe in, breathe out!

Weeks 3 and 4: Poppyseed

In week 3, sperm meets egg, and voila: conception! Your little zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tubes, dividing and redividing into identical cells as it travels to your uterus.

In week 4, now safe in your womb, the ball of cells (blastocyst) splits in two, becoming the embryo and the placenta. The amniotic sac and fluid are forming around baby, and will act as a cushion for the next eight months.

Photo and text courtesy of thebump.com